Addiction
by nantia12
Summary: War still haunts Hermione Granger. Her nightmares are vivid and overwhelming. She tried every potion but nothing can help. When she has an unexpected meeting with an old friend, she found out more than she would ever imagine.
1. Intro

**Author's note: **

**All the love to my Alpha, TriDogMom.**

**She is the best Alpha I could ask for.**

* * *

The hour was past midnight if she could judge by the color of the sky.

But it was a starless night so she could be wrong.

The crisp air and the lack of sounds would have any reasonable person hiding inside the safeness and protection of their house. Chasing red flames of a fire and the welcoming warmth of a hug.

But not her.

She chased the flames once. She got heavily burned.

Hermione was standing on her tiny balcony in the muggle London, wrapped in only a woollen jacket and a long shirt that didn't belong to her. Her dark eyes were fixated oin a street lamp that was fighting to light up. She was twisting the tiny vial around her fingers -a trick he had teach her- as she was thinking how similar her life was to the lamp's. Desperate to provide light in the darkness that surround her. The difference though, was that the darkness that Hermione was trying to exorcise wasn't around her but inside her.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes with her cold hands. She could feel the cold air licking her exposed skin but she didn't pay any attention to it. The tears had dried long ago. She closed her eyes and when she reopened them, she was looking as the sun was starting to rise over the horizon.

How much time had passed?

She swallowed a cry that was fighting for its way out of her body.

A week. That's how much time had passed. But it felt like a lifetime.

She heard a heavy exhale of air and she turned her head to face the sleeping form of her fiancé laying in her bed.

She grabbed the vial, popping it open and drinking the vibrant blue liquid hungrily. Her throat welcomed the familiar sensation as fresh tears were ready to run but she refused to let them.

She returned to her bed, lying beside him. He felt her and moved his arm around her to hug her. Her breath caught in her throat and tiredly rubbed her face.

She looked at her clock on the bedside table.

She had three hours before he was up for work. Three hours to catch the sleep that she was craving so much.

Now she could. With his potion she could. If she couldn't have him, she at least could have that.

Her pillow quickly became wet as she welcoming the familiar sensation of falling asleep. She couldn't pretend in that state. She let a small cry. In the morning she could cover it as a bad dream.

A bad dream.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **

**All the love to my Alpha, TriDogMom.**

**She is the best Alpha I could ask for.**

* * *

"There is nothing else left, Miss Granger." Hermione was sitting, full of tension, in the healer's office at St. Mungos. Another potion failed to keep her nightmares away. Another sleepless night that she spent filled with children's screams and flying curses. She tiredly rubbed her face.

"I will take anything," she murmured to the older woman. "Anything. Experiment level or I can become a guinea pig myself. I will take everything. Please." Hermione Granger never begged. Top of her marks, miss know-it-all, the brightest witch of her age and highly anticipated as the next Minister of Magic in ten years or so. And yet, here she was, begging a woman to give her a drug so she can catch some precious hours of sleep. Sleep that won't be violated by a noseless bastard that shouts _Avadas_ at her friend and family; kids won't scream as they die around her. She shivered slightly. She didn't want to relive her nightmares in her waking hours but she couldn't help it today. It was the third day that she was awake twenty-three out of the twenty-four hours day. The healer looked at her concerned.

"Miss Granger…" she reached out to touch Hermione's hand that way laying on the desk and caressed lightly her white knuckles. A mother's caress that made Hermione want to hex the woman but she didn't pull her hand. "May I suggest you try some counseling meetings? It's nothing to be ashamed of. Some scars run deeper thant we are willing to acknowledge. Your sleeping problems are because of your…"

"Yes, I know. My inability to feel safe. I took counseling, didn't help." She pulled her hand back and rubbed her puffy eyes. Her dark circles were threating to swallow her eyes. She sighed. "Just… the first potion…»"

"Your system was no full of sleeping potions, Miss Granger. Of course it worked. But it has been years since that. I assure you, you've tried everything. I have nothing left to offer you. I'm sorry.»"

Hermione got up and started pacing across the room. The healer now had her hands crossed in front of her and was waiting for her reaction. Stupid healers. Even after seven years since the second wizarding war, she and her friends are still suffering. Percy was locked up in a wing here, in St. Mungo's, with his mind complete lost. George was still screaming in his sleep for his twin. Hermione knew that because she was the one to rush to his side every time she was staying at Borrow. Neville was only reachable during weekends at Hogsmeade. Ron… Ron was ok, she thought. A little sadder, a little workaholic and little quieter. Hermione's heart ached thinking about her fiancé. She rubbed her face, smudging the mascara around her eyes.

"Fine…" she exhaled and burst out of the room. She bumped into something solid, she avoided collusion with the floor by pure luck. The other body she hit seemed ok though. "I'm sorry! I'm terribly sorry… Luna?" Hermione's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

Standing in front of her now, her friend and former member of the Order, was smiling at her. Her hair was longer, reaching her waist in golden waves, decorated with white blossoms. Her pale silver eyes were looking at Hermione now with such love that made her uncomfortable and she wanted to burst into tears. It had been so long since she last saw her. Too long, as now Luna's yellow dress wasn't able to hide her baby bump.

"Oh my, Hermione!" the girl shouted with her dreamy voice and threw her arms around her. Hermione hugged her back tightly.

"Its been so long!"

"I can see that!" Hermione said pointing at Luna's belly. The blonde blushed and a genuine smile appeared on her lips. Hermione's stomach twisted. When was the last time she smiled like that?

"Do you have time to grab a drink? I would like to catch up with you".

Luna's smile widened. "Of course, Hermione! Let me finish a quick appointment with Zoey and I will be right back."

"Zoey?" Luna pointed at the door that Hermione burst out of.

"Oh, of course. Go ahead".

Luna disappeared behind the door and Hermione sat on a white chair on the lobby waiting for her.

Too long indeed. After finishing Hogwarts Luna left to travel the world for the Quibbler. She and Neville couldn't last the distance even with all the magical means of transportation. There was always a new creature, a new opportunity, a new column. So when Neville accepted the position as the Herbology teacher, it was the official end for those two. Or at least that's what Neville had told her. Three years later and Hermione could see how happy Luna was with whatever she had done during those years. Guilt threaten to swallow Hermione. Not once in those years she had thought to contact the girl. Not the kind of friend Hermione was hoping to be.

"It's ok Hermione. We can catch up now!" Luna said calmly standing next to her. Hermione blinked. She hadn't heard the door open and close again and how long was she sitting deep in thought? "Are you sure you want to though? You seem tired. And those Wrackspurts can't stop flying around you!" Luna made a shooing gesture that brought a smile to Hermione's lips.

"It's fine." She stood up and start walking next to the her friend.

Reaching upon the St. Mungo's entrance an owl hooted above their head and landed on Hermione's shoulder. She knew that owl.

"Oh, hi Hippocrates," Luna greeted him and reached for a treat from her purse while the owl was leaving a note in Hermione's hand.

Healer's -_Zoeys – _handwriting was recognizable.

_"I think I found something. Would you like to have another appointment?"_

Hermione looked at Luna feeding the white creature. It hadn't been more than five minutes since she exited the office right?

What was Luna doing in the Healer's office?


End file.
